


Lean on Me

by myemergence



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 3x11, Big brother Buck, Buck gets a pet, Family Feels, Firefam Feels, Gen, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, may needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:40:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23314039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myemergence/pseuds/myemergence
Summary: After they don’t get the results that they hoped for with radiation, Michael starts to consider brain surgery to treat his cancer. The aftermath leaves May struggling, afraid to lose her dad. Buck is worried, determined to make May see that she’s not alone.Or, the one where Buck is a big brother to May.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & May Grant (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 356
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	Lean on Me

**Author's Note:**

> I was scrolling through tumblr the other day and saw [this](https://polastreeve.tumblr.com/post/612963649734197248/what-are-you-doing-are-you-diagnosing-me-i-am) gifset of Bobby/Buck after Bobby’s scare in 3a, and then Michael/May in 3b - it inspired me to write this. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> BIG thanks to [Nicole](https://bighimboenergy.tumblr.com/) for the beta!

“Hey, Chim, do you mind if I take home some of this birthday cake for Harry and May?” Bobby asks. He closes the lid to the box that contains the rest of Chimney’s cake from the crew’s small birthday celebration at the firehouse.

“Sure,” Chim says unenthusiastically, pushing the cake around with his fork in disinterest, “knock yourself out.” 

“How are they doing?” Buck looks up from his plate, his gaze settles on Bobby, a look of concern softening his features. “How’s Michael?” 

“Uh,” Bobby hesitates, “he’s upbeat, he’s fighting. Radiation was supposed to be his best shot, now we’re all grappling with putting our hopes on his next best shot, surgery.”

“How are the kids handling it?” Eddie asks from where he sits beside Chimney at the table, turning his attention to their captain. 

“I think Harry’s doing okay, it’s May I’m worried about. She’s got a better understanding of what’s going on,” Bobby explains.

“She’s the oldest sibling,” Chim interjects, “older siblings don’t get to be blissfully ignorant, they have to be the realists.” They continue to talk as they clear the rest of the mess, and Hen joins everyone at the table.

Buck purses his lips, and he hesitates briefly. In every way that matters, the one-eighteen has become his family over the last few years. Aside from his family at the firehouse, Maddie is all he has. So the blood that courses through his veins is one-eighteen strong. That also means that his concern for the youngest members of the one-eighteen family runs deep. “Is there anything we can do? I mean if there is _anything_ you can think of that might help, just name it.”

“Thanks, Buck, I appreciate that- I just don’t even know what is the best thing for them right now. If I think of anything, I’ll let you know.”

Buck pauses, then nods his head. “Sounds good, Cap.”

**

Buck thinks about how he can help the Grant children from the moment the conversation shifts to Karen and Hen fostering. He tries to think of some elaborate way to let May know she’s not alone, that he’s been there. That’s how Buck finds himself standing outside of Bobby and Athena’s home, knocking on their door a few days later.

Bobby pulls open the front door, a look of surprise on his face when he sees Buck. “Hey, Bobby, sorry to drop over unannounced.”

Bobby shakes his head, “Come in.” Buck steps into the house, and Bobby closes the door behind him. 

“So, you’re probably wondering why I’m here.”

“The thought did cross my mind,” Bobby says with a light laugh. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“No, I’m good,” Buck glances around, sees May sitting at the dining room table and, despite the fact that she has earbuds in, talks in a loud whisper to Bobby. “I, uh, I actually came to see May.”

“Oh, wh-” Bobby begins to ask what he has to talk to May about, but stops when Buck looks at him more closely, his intent clear. Bobby leads the way to the dining room and Buck follows. May seems wrapped up in her Instagram feed, and Bobby attempts to draw her attention. “Hey, May? Look who stopped by.”

May forces a tight smile, pulling one of the earbuds out. “Hey,” She moves, as though to put the earbud back in place.

“May,” Buck starts, “I actually came to ask you a favor.” May stops, setting the earbud down on the table, and takes the other one out, before turning her attention to Buck.

“A favor?” She looks at Buck quizzically.

Buck pulls out his cell phone. “I’ve been toying with the idea of getting a cat for weeks, and I just can’t decide which one I want. The shelter has quite a few.” He swipes through the photos and shows them to May.

A small smile tugs at the corner of May’s mouth, “That one is cute.” She motions towards his phone, looking at a gray short-haired kitten.

Buck scratches the back of his head. “Are you busy for the next few hours? Maybe you could come with me? I’m terrible at making decisions.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Buck, I need to do some cleaning before my mom gets back.”

“Go ahead, May. Harry and I have you covered,” Bobby promises as he steps out of the dining room and into the kitchen.

Buck flashes a smile, “So, what do you say?” He looks at May hopefully. He really wants her to come out with him. Being a teenager is not easy, and being a teenager with an ill family member is even harder. He thinks back to what Chim said earlier, about older siblings having to face the truth and not be blissfully ignorant. Although Chim was referencing his current situation with Albert, he knows that what was said earlier wasn’t untrue either. 

May is silent for a minute, and he is sure that she’s going to say no. “Alright, I guess a couple of hours couldn’t hurt. I’m just going to go grab my purse.” Buck beams.

Buck stops in the kitchen where Bobby pretends to be cleaning. Buck rests a light hand on his shoulder. “She’s gonna be alright, Bobby,” he promises.

Bobby breathes out and turns to look at Buck. He looks like he’s searching for the right words, then finally settles on, “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Buck says, “she’s family.” He steps out of the kitchen so that he can wait at the door for May.

A few minutes later, Buck’s Jeep pulls out of the driveway and onto the road as they head in the direction of the animal shelter. “I appreciate you helping me out.”

May locks the screen on her phone and lets out a small sigh at his words. “You don’t have to pretend this is me helping you out with something, Buck.” She levels him with a serious look, which he catches out of the corner of his eye. Buck almost chuckles because it is so clear at that moment that she is Athena’s daughter.

“I’m not pretending anything.”

May sighs. “So you’re telling me that Bobby didn’t put you up to this? Or my mom?”

“No, they didn’t,” Buck says honestly, then adds, “but they are worried about you.”

“I’m not going to break. You didn’t need to take me out just to make sure that I’m okay.” May says with a roll of her eyes, glancing out the passenger window.

“Not _just_ to make sure you’re okay,” Buck says and then chuckles, “I really need someone to help me with this.” He reminds her, laughing lightly as he pulls the Jeep into the parking lot.

May looks down at her phone, fidgets with the edge of her phone case. “They told us a few days ago that the radiation didn’t work. Not like they were hoping for.” Buck remains silent and now that he’s parked, he turns his attention fully to May. “He’s going to have brain surgery, and they don’t even know if it’s going to help,” May’s voice wavers, “what if it doesn’t?”

“You can’t think like that, May. You can’t immediately settle on the worst-case scenario. I know you’re scared. I-I understand,” Buck stumbles with his words for a brief moment. “If you are all convinced that he can’t do this, then he _won’t_ ,” Buck says gently. “But, if you are all convinced that he can, then there is still hope.”

May swallows, moves her hand to dab at her tears. “How could you understand?” 

The silence is heavy for a moment and then, “My grandpa, he died from brain cancer when I was a kid. It was really hard to watch him go through that. The hardest part was when he gave up on himself.”

“He died anyway,” May says stricken.

“Things were different then, they didn’t have the advancements that they do now, May. But when _we_ stopped believing that he could fight it, so did _he_. Maybe he would have died anyway, but I wonder how much longer he would have had if he saw us believe in him instead.” Buck reaches over and places his hand on top of May’s, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

May forces a smile, “I don’t want him to give up. I want him to fight.” 

“Good,” Buck smiles, “now are you ready to help me pick out the perfect furry creature to destroy my place?” 

**

May spends too much time researching on the internet. She knows that looking at the statistics and worst-case scenarios aren’t going to do much in the way of calming her fears. She knocks, then unlocks the door and steps into her dad’s apartment.

“Hey, this is a surprise. What are you doing here?” Michael asks.

May frowns. “I didn’t think I needed a reason.”

“Yeah,” Michael draws out, “but you usually have one.” He begins shuffling around some papers on the table, but May still sees his living will lying on the top, before he’s able to shuffle it under some nondescript papers.

“I knew it. I knew you were lying,” May says as she shakes her head in disbelief.

“May,” Michael starts, “this isn’t-”

“You’re updating your will. People do that when they’re dying.” She says plainly, hurt and worry evident on her face. Was it even worse than she thought?

“And they also do it when they have two children and are about to undergo major surgery.”

“A _risky_ surgery,” May says from where she is still standing in front of the doorway. “I looked it up.”

“Okay, uh, you’re right,” Michael stands upright, walks around the table and stands in front of his daughter. He pauses briefly once in front of her before motioning to the two chairs that are in front of him. “Okay, let’s sit down.” He sighs, waiting for May to sit in front of him. She does after a moment and as she looks at him, all she can think is that this is her dad and this surgery is risky. There are so many possible scenarios. What if he doesn’t come out of it?

“It is risky,” Michael admits, “and I don’t know what’s going to happen. There are no guarantees here, but without it…” He breathes out slow, steadies himself for his next words as he looks at May. “I could be dead in a year.”

May closes her eyes, lets the words sink in. When she opens them, she looks at her dad distraught, eyes red-rimmed and her lips pressing into a straight line. “So then why didn’t you tell us? Why did you lie to me and Harry?”

Michael shakes his head, a pained look across his features. “I didn’t want to scare you,” He admits. 

“Aren’t you scared?” Michael lowers his eyes, eyes wet as he considers her question. 

“Yeah.” His voice is barely above a whisper, his nod infinitesimal. Michael looks around helplessly before his eyes settle on May. “I’m scared of dying. I’m scared of living and being worse off than I am now. And most of all, I am terrified of not seeing you and Harry. That’s why-that’s why I’m doing this, it’s to make sure that you two are taken care of-”

May thinks of her conversation with Buck in his Jeep earlier that day. She remembers him talking about his family losing hope and how his grandfather gave up too. He declined so quickly after that. She doesn’t want the same thing for her dad. She needs him to still hope.

“Stop,” May says sternly. “Stop doing that. Planning for your death, you can’t think like that. You still have options, and as long as you still have options and have us, there’s still hope.” Her eyes settle on Michael.

“When did you grow up on me?” He asks with a deep laugh, looking at her in awe. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” She says softly as Michael embraces her in a tight hug, and she closes her eyes in the embrace. 

**

Buck hears a knock on the door and shifts from where he is lounging on the couch. “That was quick,” he says as he pulls open the door for their takeout order. “May.”

May shifts under his gaze, “I-I hope this is okay?” She starts, pressing her lips together tightly, her eyes wet with unshed tears. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

“Oh, May. Of course it’s okay,” Buck says, and in an instant his arms are around her slim frame, drawing her to him in a comforting hug. He lets out an even breath and kisses the top of her head. “Let’s get you inside.” 

Buck leads her into his apartment, and she sits down on the couch next to him. Buck remains silent, knowing that May will say something when she’s ready. “This is _all_ my fault,” she cries, folding into herself as her body shakes.

“Woah, woah, woah…” Buck reaches an arm out and pulls her over until she is pressed against his side. “Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s not.”

“It is,” May says through tears, allowing herself to lean into Buck for comfort. Gently, he brushes the hair away from her face so that he can see her face more clearly.

“Can you tell me what happened?” 

“After you dropped me off at home the other day I want to see my dad,” May says. “He was updating his will. I told him that I’d been reading up on his surgery and that I knew how risky it was. But I thought about what you said, about your grandfather. So I encouraged him to fight. I told him that as long as he still has options, as long as he still has us that he still has hope.”

“There is still hope,” Buck agrees.

“He-he’s not going to get the surgery. And radiation didn’t work. So he’s going to _die_ and it’s going to be my fault, Buck!”

“Hey,” Buck’s forehead creases as he looks down at May, this girl that he has come to look at like she’s his little sister. She is coming apart at the thought of losing her dad, and Buck can’t say that he blames her. He thinks back to Bobby’s scare not that many months ago. He remembers the fear well.

“This isn’t your fault, none of this is.” Buck continues and draws her snugly against his chest, then kisses the top of her head. “And just because Michael chooses not to get the surgery, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have options. Did he say why he didn’t want the surgery?” His voice is gentle as he looks down at May, who has visibly calmed down.

“He thinks the surgery is too risky. He said he doesn’t want to focus on his death anymore, he wants to focus on living, however long he has. ”

“It is risky. The good news is that there are trials and other options to look at. Maybe he’ll be able to get into one of those. And either way, we aren’t going to lose hope.” May breathes evenly as her eyes close.

“I just panicked,” She whispers. “I don’t want him to die.”

“The good news is neither does he.” Buck smiles gently, hearing movement up in the loft. “Hey babe?” He calls out. “Can you bring Sadie down?”

Buck feels May sit upright before he feels scrutinizing eyes on him. “Babe?” Her brow raises. She leans forward, and a grin breaks out on her face as Eddie makes his way down the stairs. “Oh hey _, Eddie_.” She turns to Buck and smacks him gently across his chest with the back of her hand, then practically hisses. “I knew it!”

“Oh, please. You did not,” Buck says with a roll of his eyes as Eddie chuckles, carrying the kitten over to May who happily scoops her up. There is a knock on the door and Eddie answers, getting their takeout food and setting it on the counter.

“Hey, May,” Eddie calls as he glances up, “we’d love it if you’d stay for dinner.”

“Are you sure?” 

“I’m positive,” Eddie says as he grabs plates from the cupboard, and it’s not lost on May how easily Eddie navigates Buck’s kitchen, how comfortable he seems in Buck’s space. “You are family and you’re welcome anytime.” Buck and May make their way out to the kitchen with May still snuggling the kitten to her chest.

“So,” Buck motions to the spread of Chinese takeout that Eddie has spread out over the counter, “what do you want?” 

“I want to know when the two of you are going to tell everyone that you’re a couple,” May says with her first genuine smile of the night.

Buck stutters and glances at Eddie who just shrugs his shoulders, smiling in amusement. “When we’re ready,” Buck says carefully.

“That doesn’t sound like an actual time.” May bends down, setting the kitten on the floor before she walks to the sink to wash her hands.

“You’re right, it _doesn’t_ sound like an actual time,” Eddie teases.

“I’m not telling you what to do,” May says as she dries her hands and turns to look at Buck and Eddie. “I’m just saying that life’s too short to not be happy. And life’s too short to not let people be happy for you.”

“She does have a point,” Eddie says, turning his gaze to Buck.

“That she does,” Buck whispers, dipping his head down and placing a quick kiss against his lips before he turns back to May. “We’ll tell them the next time that we see them.” Eddie finds Buck’s hand and interlaces their fingers.

Buck looks at May as she smiles warmly and he wonders if he actually helped her tonight, or if she helped him. One thing they all need to remember is that life is short, and you can never predict what is going to happen tomorrow. Even in the face of tomorrow’s uncertainty, Buck knows that he can face whatever is thrown his way as long as he has his family by his side. 


End file.
